Tonglen talk—unplugged from the Source

This past weekend I was at a retreat in which I lead a short introductory talk on Tonglen meditation. Tonglen is the Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice of “sending and receiving”. Tonglen is a wonderful practice which has given me an understanding how to change those heavy, constricting negative feelings into light and love and compassion. This has shown how we all have a very strong and free core and the heart of the Bodichitta. 

And this weekend I was show just how small and petty I still can be. This weekend I was experiencing some hormonal fluctuations in my being and was short on patients and compassion. When I arrived on Friday evening I could tell I wasn’t completely open. There were some people attending this function whom I would describe from my own self-righteous position as “clingy” and attention seeking. And as a result of my perception of these people I didn’t want to deal with, I “shielded” myself and avoided most conversation with them.

So much for being of benefit to all beings! Or is it being a benefit when you won’t give the attention junkies their fix? I don’t know about that and I know I’m in no place to judge, but I know that my limitations were that my short fuse was not extending much in the way of compassion or loving-kindness. Observation of my own personal defects… Breath in my own awareness of the ropes which prevent my heart from being free. Breath out a healing energy which changes my hiding-tendency to open my heart and be strong in my personal boundaries.

So I give this talk about the transformation and healing power of Tonglen and it happens to be given when I was very disconnected personally from the Source which fuels my fire for these talks. I wonder what is suggested when this happens? Is one supposed to NOT give the talk? Is speaking inauthentically to a group serving to cause more or less suffering? Ideally I would travel with another person who is skilled in this subject as well and if I’m not feeling it, I could pass the baton to them to deliver the talk. But I know that I’ve experienced a talk from a teacher who wasn’t feeling it that particular day. They still talked. And yes…I knew they were not giving their all.

I’ve never asked what is suggested in these situations.

Soul Death in the Minor Degree

I’ve been thinking alot about “soul-death” in the minor degree. This isn’t the “Darth Vader killing Younglings” soul-death that is grandious and obviously trecherous…
I’m talking about the perfectly-reasonable compromises to one’s character, or negotiating with the “lesser of two evils.”

FUCK THAT!!!

I’ve watches as my peers age and they start hedging on the very things that give their fire spirit. Yes, we do it for all the right reasons. I stopped doing ritual magick for the first 3 years of my daughters life because I wasn’t sure about the environment I would surround myself with ceremonial magick a major part of my life. Once I was confident in my ability to seal and bind and safeguard…it came back.

I don’t go to too many loud music shows anymore because it wasn’t okay to me to subject my kid to that loud of music…even with earplugs. Now she’s older and she’s starting to go to all-ages shows with me.

But the soul death that I’m talking about comes from handing ones belief systems over, handful by handful to the oppressive systems we encounter. We may not shave our heads or dye our hair bright purple in our corporate work environment. We may not live in the city of our choice because it’s not the safest place for our kids to grow up. We may now get that full-back Baphomet tattoo because it’s complicated to explain to our significant others Baptist family…

Little things…

But if you hand ENOUGH of them over…your soul wilts and you adopt another personality that isn’t your own. So when does this process entail “maturity” and when is it just punking out to some extraneous circumstance?

I’ll leave it to you to comment…

I spy, with my little eye…something that doesn’…

I spy, with my little eye…something that doesn’t deserve what she’s got!

ATMA Express Travelers Express

Don’t leave the material realm without them!

———————

I heard this bit on the Kakophonos podcast and I about fell out of my chair laughing at all the occult humor contained in it. The premise is that a couple of magi are sightseeing at the Fortress of the Abyss when they encounter Choronzon. When they try to deliver the “appropriate pentacle” only to realize that they must have left it back on Malkuth! Then they have some problems with Belial and it all ends badly for them because they didn’t have these ATMA Express Travelers Checks…

at least…that’s what I *think* they are called. The sound quality is a bit off at the end so I never could be quite sure of the title. If you know…please pass the info along! But TAKE A LISTEN!! It’s a hoot!

Tim-o-Tee on the Rocks

I had a rather surreal conversation yesterday. First off, I’ll need to give a little background information to place the conversation into context.

Lets go back to the year 1995. There is a coffee shop called “Andrew’s Brews” in Akron, Ohio where all the youthful miscreants and aspiring writers congregated. I was a miscreant. Tim-o-Tee was an aspiring writer. We shared some common friends…namely a train-wreck named Dusty. I was recently OFF the wrecked train and glued myself to this coffee bar in hopes that I wouldn’t fall down and find a needle in my arm. During this time Tim and I became friends. Not lovers. Not crushed-out on each other. Just friends. We shared a certain level of intelligence, love of literature, cynicism and jaded outlook on life. In 1996 I moved to New Orleans and told Tim before I left that if he ever wanted to visit that he had a place to stay.

He took me up on that offer several times while I lived in New Orleans. Each time he came down with a different acquaintance, but I was so comfortable with Tim and his personal ethics that I just let them have the run of my apartment. I knew that Tim would keep his company in line. Well, at least as much as one CAN keep company in line while partying in NOLA. Anyway…I trust Tim and I respect Tim.

Sometime in 1997 I fell in “love” with some narcissistic bastard and I was convinced that I just needed to dedicate my life to him so that I could prove to him that my love was safe and secure and he could return it. Yeah, right…stupid. But that’s how immature love is sometimes. I tried and when I had to move BACK to my home state of Ohio because I’d completely depleted my resources paying for this fuckwad to relocate to Colorado Springs for a job and then he kicks me out! (I still can’t believe that one…STUPID) Tim was the one who consoled me at the coffee-house table saying “it’s okay…you just bet it all on the wrong horse.”

He was right and years later I see that very, very clearly. That didn’t prevent it from hurting like hell while I was going through it.

To complicate matters, weeks after my return I found out I was pregnant from that horrible relationship. Strangely enough I was compelled to not only have this baby, but to parent it. Today that baby is my seven year old daughter who is the light of my life. I omitted informing the narcissist of this information and prayed that when the time came to help my daughter know more about herself that I would have the balls and the healing necessary to make that connection for her.

Tim was there for me EVERY day of my pregnancy. At this point we were BOTH planning on moving to New Orleans in the Fall. When I learned of my pregnancy I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make that move with him. He said he’d stay. Hell, he even offered to put his name on her birth certificate so Narcissist wouldn’t be one step farther off the path to any claim to her. There was clear danger to my former boyfriend to get his hands on a girl child, but we won’t go into that here. I told him no, that’s isn’t necessary. He needs to be in New Orleans and not to sway from that Path.

I was a big girl and I needed to be able to stand firmly on my own two feet. Keep in mind, boys and girls…this is JUST a friend. That was the nature of our relationship. Friendship.
So in August we loaded up him and a truck and a crazy guy named Ben and off the drove…

The first day he got his scooter stolen…
The second day he went to the projects and stole his scooter back…

There were a myriad of rough spots into his NOLA initiation…but he made it. Eventually he got the job he wanted and life was going good for him…

One day he informs me that his girlfriend is pregnant and they are going to have a baby! I’m thrilled. I know Tim has wanted this for a long time.

The next time I talk to Tim, he informs me that said girlfriend has aborted said baby and pretended for weeks that she was still pregnant. Tim tells me he’s kicked said girlfriend out of his life. He is frustrated and angry.

Life continues for a little while and about six months later Tim emails me ANOTHER ultrasound. I ask him what this is… He tells me that he got her pregnant AGAIN (boys and girls…just a reminder…NOLA drinking CAN lead to unplanned pregnancies) and he’s thrilled.
Personally, I’m not all that keen on letting the person who went behind my back and aborted a baby I was entirely enthusiastic about then pretends to continue to be pregnant, to be the mother of my child…but Tim’s happy, so I’m happy for him.

One thing I’ve learned. When you have a good friend you support them at every turn. When they make a bad decision. You make sure they know the options but NOT your opinion. When they realize their bad decision you let them vent. You never judge. You never point out the error of their ways.

Good friends are treasures…take care of them like diamonds.

Okay…baby enters world and Tim is THRILLED. He LOVES being a dad. He’s cools with the girlfriend too. I’m happy it’s all working out for them.

Then comes Hurricane Katrina.

Katrina destroys much of New Orleans and Tim and family end up on girlfriends home turf in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. YIPES!!! Tim is VERY separated from his friends, his former job, his support structure. his life. He doesn’t like Wisconsin. But she does… She’s “home”.

Now over the past four years something else has happened.

We here less and less of Tim. No email. No phone calls . No visits. About three times a year we hear from Tim. Tim tells me that his girlfriend is very jealous and possessive and it’s easier NOT to stay in touch than to deal with the shit that surfaces AFTER he’s talked to me.

This makes me sad. But I understand this. I hope that in time, she’s grow more comfortable with Tim’s friends and will accept it. I respect that values his relationship enough to try and make it work.
—
Jump to present time.

About ten days ago I spoke to Tim on the phone. He left me a message sounding awful and saying “not to call back because my psycho girlfriend will freak out,” but he sounds so bad I call anyways. Luckily she’s away and I get to talk to him.

He’s in a bad state. Depression. Traumatic Stress from the storm. Yuck. I’ve never heard him so bad. I talk to him. I’m supportive of him. I let him know I care and that I’m here for him if he needs me.

He tells me that he’s stuck in Milwaukee and depressed and can’t get a job and wants to go back to NOLA. He also tells me that girlfriend is pregnant AGAIN and due in November. He does NOT sound enthused about this situation. I ask how this happened and he said they got drunk and fucked…I say “so same think as last time” he says yes and I told him to make a mental note NOT to drink around her…

I won’t say what he replied to that with.

Okay…so I end the conversation telling him to write himself back into connection with the world. Start taking his life and existence handful by handful back…where he let it go.

Next day I get a voicemail from his girlfriend asking me to call her because she wants make sure “I have the whole story.” She leaves a number but it’s the wrong one. The next few days I keep getting a number coming up on my caller ID with no message so I delete it. I get LOTS of calls and if you don’t know me well enough to leave a message you don’t need me calling you.
Yesterday I get a voice mail. The number has been hers and she STILL wants to talk.
Why? I wonder. What influence could I have on their relationship. Personally I just think she wants to glean information about Tim from me. Which is pretty pathetic when you think that someone Tim communicates with less that three times a year knows something that a persona who lives with him doesn’t.

So I call her.

We talk for about 30 minutes. It goes about as I figured it would. She give me her side of the story. She spins it how “she’s the victim” and Tim isn’t thinking rationally. She also lets it slip that SHE HAS told Tim that she’s uncomfortable with him communicating with many people because of the inappropriate things they send him or do. She cites some valentines day thing I emailed to Tim. I can’t remember what it is, but she can. I tell her to forward it to me, I’d love to see what it is.

I know you can’t rationalized with someone like her so I try to listen to what she is suffering from and to point out some resources that may help her. I also tell her that I know that Tim’s has an intense love for his family.

Other than that, what can I say? Nothing. She’s not going to hear it. She’ll twist it into some threat and use it against Tim.

She ended with telling me about how Tim lies about everything and he can’t be trusted and I simply say that you have to find the ability to trust and believe in your partner no matter what and if you don’t have that, you can’t have a relationship. If she doesn’t trust him and he doesn’t trust her…well it’s just a bad scene.

I don’t envy either of their roads ahead. It’s going to be rough…

But Tim is my friend and I’m supporting whatever he needs to get him back on stable ground.

A New Revision of the Rite of the Bornless One

A New Revision of the Rite of the Bornless One
by Shade Oroboros 817

This is the current incarnation of my ongoing attempt to make the vital Ritual of the Bornless One a deeper experience by examining and to some extent rewriting the text based upon several translations. This was originally an ancient Greco-Egyptian-Gnostic ritual exorcism, which generations of magicians subsequent to the Golden Dawn have adopted as the prime Invocation of their Holy Guardian Angels; perhaps its best-known incarnation is that formulated by Aleister Crowley as ‘Liber Samekh Theurgia Goetia Summa (Congressus cum Daemone) sub figura DCCC’. I have performed it many hundreds of times in my life, and believe that it has a powerful and cumulative effect in the unfolding of the True Will.

However, I still remain a bit confused by Mr. Crowley’s instruction to visualize a ‘Solar-Phallic Hippopotamus’. In general, when his notes call for visualizing a particular animal I would suggest shapeshifting to it, in the manner of the assumption of god-forms; and I have found that a Baphometic Bull may work better as earth than the more Taurt-like Hippopotamus. His remaining elemental forms are the Lion for fire, Dragon-serpent for water, and Bird (Hawk?) for air; the elemental links to the various sections do not exist in the original text and are most likely a Golden Dawn or Crowleyan innovation.
I would like to make it quite clear that I am by no means discarding Crowley’s essential version, which (with its extensive appended notes) should by studied in Magick In Theory & Practice. Further instructions for the Attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel appear throughout his works, notably in the Eighth Aethyr of The Vision & The Voice. The concept was first presented in the late-medieval Book of the Sacred Magic of Abra-Melim the Mage, although again in an overly elaborate form. An earlier version of my revision also appears in Your Guardian Angel & You by Denny Sargent.

What I have done here, first of all, is to essentially restore the ‘barbarous names of invocation’ to the most accurate and scholarly transliteration available: that of The Greek Magical Papyri In Translation, edited by Hans Dieter Betz (University of Chicago, 1986), the definitive collection of the body of early spells from which this text is drawn.
These all-too-often obscure words of power combine various god-names, magical and numerical formulas, and vowel-vibrations whose origins are now lost in time. Crowley revised and analyzed them in terms of his own Thelemic Cultus; without losing sight of his work I have reverted to the earliest text in hopes of finding new insights. Many very similar rites may also be found in Ancient Christian Magic: Coptic Texts of Ritual Power edited by Marvin Meyer & Richard Smith (Harper, 1994); the early fathers of the Coptic Church and many of the Gnostic sects were much involved with angelic invocations, while similar contacts with the Daimon or Genius appear in pagan traditions.

Other sources consulted include Ceremonial Magic by Israel Regardie (Aquarian Press, 1980). Virtually a user’s manual for this process; it collects all the various earlier versions up through the Golden Dawn and Crowley, including the original Greek text. Next was the very useful Hermetic Magic by Stephen Edred Flowers (Weiser 1995), who remarks: “Note that the body of the working is a summoning ­ but in the course of the summoning the magician is transformed from a summoner to the entity being summoned ­ and ultimately to the god himself.” Lastly I employed Seven Faces Of Darkness: Practical Typhonian Magic, by Don Webb, Runa-Raven Press 1996. Webb in turn has remarked that “The ‘Holy Headless One’ is identified in other texts as being behind the constellation Draco. He is Set in the form of the Bata serpent.” Crowley, and especially Kenneth Grant of course, identify Set with Hadit.

Based on all of these versions and my own personal practice I have also revised the English elements to a somewhat less florid and Victorian form, although I have been unable to completely avoid the dramatic use of some Thee’s and Thou’s. Some few divine names combine Crowley’s forms with my own preferred versions. I have taken several creative liberties with these sections, which is rather the point of this exercise.

Throughout the whole of Liber Samekh there runs a sonorous refrain:

“Hear me, and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of the firmament and of the aethyr, upon the earth and under the earth, on dry land and in the water, of whirling air and of rushing fire, and every spell and scourge of God may be obedient unto me!”

While not repeated in the original version, it adds considerably to the dramatic impact. Since this work has been a genuine attempt to renew my use of this rite in a form less rote, here are two alternate versions:

“Subject to me all daimons so that every daimon, whether heavenly or aerial, or earthly or subterranean, or terrestrial or aquatic, might be obedient unto me and every enchantment and scourge which is from God.” (Betz and Flowers)

“Subject to me all daimons, so that they obey me whether they are of the Mind, or the Fates of heaven, or the air, or the earth, or beneath the earth. I am seeing the Absolute and henceforth every spell and scourge will work my will.” (Webb)

The following names of God, which have been restored to their original place at the opening and closing of the text, should be written on a strip of papyrus or cloth which is to be worn as a headband: AOTH ABRAOTH BASYM ISAK SABAOTH IAO! In the Greek original this sequence consists of 24 letters (the total number of their alphabet) beginning with Alpha and ending with Omega, the First and the Last. All such names are best vibrated or howled, rather than merely chanted or intoned.

Invoke Often!
———————————————–

The Ritual of the Unborn One
AOTH ABRAOTH BASYM ISAK SABAOTH IAO!

Thee I summon and invoke,
Thee, the Unborn One!
Thee who created earth and heaven,
Thee who created night and day,
Thee who created darkness and light!
Thou art Asar-un-nefer, Thou art Ra-Hoor-Khuit,
whom none hath ever seen!
Thou art Ia-Bez, thou art Ia-Apophis!
Thou hast divided the just and unjust,
Thou hast created female and male,
Thou hast formed seeds and fruit,
Thou hast made men & women to love one another,
and to hate one another.
I am n’Aton Thy prophet,
Unto whom Thou hast revealed Thy mysteries,
the ceremonies of Khem.
Thou hast produced the moist and dry, and all manner of life.
Hear me! I am the messenger of Ptah-Amoun-Ra:
I will speak Thy true name, handed down to the prophets of AL.

Hear me!

ARBATHIAO REIBET ATHELEBERSETH ARA BLATHA ALBEU EBENPHICHI CHITASGOE IBAOTH IAO!

Hear me and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

I call upon Thee, the terrible and invisible god,
dweller in the empty wind, the void place of the spirit!

AROGOGOROBRAO SOCHOU MODORIO PHALARCHAO
OOO AEPE!

Holy and unborn one!

Hear me and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

Hear me!

ROUBRIAO MARI ODAM BAABNABAOTH ASSS ADONAI APHNIAO ITHOLETH ABRASAX AEOOI ISCHURE!

Mighty and unborn one!

Hear me and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

I invoke Thee!

MABARRAIO IOEL KOTHA ATHOREBALO ABRAOTH!

Hear me and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

Hear me!

AOTH ABRAOTH BASYM ISAK SABAOTH IAO!

This is the origin of the gods,
This is the center of the universe,
This is the One whom the winds fear,
This is the One who made all things by command of true voice,
Lord of all things, king, ruler, and healer!

Hear me and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

IEOU PYR IOU PYR IAOT IAEO IOOU ABRASAX SABRIAM OO YY EY OO YY ADONAIE, EDE EDU ANGELOS TON THEON, ANLALA LAI GAIA APA DIACHANNA CHORYN!

I am Thee, the unborn spirit, having sight in the Eye;
Almighty One who speaks the Word of immortal fire!
I am Thee, the act of revealing truth!
I am Thee, who hates that ill-deeds should be done in the world!
I am Thee, whose name makes the lightning flash and thunder roll!
I am Thee, whose seed is the shower
that falls upon the earth that it may teem!
I am Thee, whose mouth is utterly aflame!
I am Thee, the begetter and the destroyer and the bringer-forth!
I am Thee, the Grace of the Aeon!
The heart of the world encircled with a serpent is my name!

Come thou forth and follow me, and make all spirits subject unto me, so that every spirit of heaven & hell, of earth and water, air and fire, may work my will!

Great is my might, greater still my might through Thee!

IAO! SABAOTH! Such are the words!

AOTH ABRAOTH BASYM ISAK SABAOTH IAO!

LUCIFER, SON OF THE MORNING

LUCIFER, SON OF THE MORNING
By Shri Gurudev Dadaji Mahendrannath
http://www.horusmaat.com/silverstar/SILVERSTAR5-PG41.htm

ALL HAIL! Thou brilliant of the planets bright.
Lord of the dawn and opener of the day,
King of the sunset, herald of the night,
Rising and setting in the cosmic play.

Tou art the rising and the dawn of man;
Thou art the going down in twilight’s peace;
Thou art the portal of the cosmic plan;
Birth, death and life, and then the great release.

Venus, thy consort, hath my heart entrapped;
Kama, the lord of passion, driven me on;
Therefore, O Lucifer, in her arms wrapped,
I patient wait til Pagan night has gone

Prince of the world and of the hearts of, most
Of the old Pagan world, since early dawning,
Satan, great angel, of the cosmic host.
Hail to thee, Lucifer, son of the morning!

Echoes of Abraxas

Echoes of Abraxas
By Shade Oroboros

“The most divine Nature of all was one Serpent having the face of a Hawk, and most delightful in aspect, for when he opened his eyes he filled all the spaces of his native region with light, but when he closed them darkness immediately ensued.”

From The Gnostics & Their Remains by C.W. King

L.

Make it with the Fire!

Out of the Chaos of matter and void a cosmos of shadow and light.
Out of the whirlwind of the evolving an egg of breath,
holding all things to their own centers
as silent seeds of returning.
Dance of the archetypes, rainbow of images,
the spectrum is shining from a jewel always burning
whirling and churning to climax all yearning with bliss!

In the heart of infinite space
the Eye is open to light
silent music ignites
in torrents of fertile flame.

Make it with the Fire!

Kundalini-Shakti,
Sekhmet, dancer!
Fire that consumes Not,
Fire of consummation,
Fire of desire
like the cock of the Beast
getting into your brain,
like your serpent-spine rising
to explode in kisses of stars!
Fire like a sister in the bliss of incest,
Fire like sin with the mother
beyond the last law of being,
beyond the gates of death and life.

Fire like a cat in heat
Fire like the noon-day sun
Fire to melt the worlds
Time to make all aeons merge.

Fire-Shakti,
Sekh-maat,
Tefnut,
Golden one!
Serpent-fire returning to heaven
Dragon-fire like a comet in space
Heart-fire, hot love’s desire!

Winged wheel filled with lightning
soaring through all centers
to return to the primal sea.
Boundless ocean of limitless light
tides of flame that ebb and flow
alien colors of freedom and bliss
echoes of voiceless change
ageless awakening fire!
Lion-heart of liquid light
on Fire!

Make it with the Fire!

12/24/80

XXXIX.

Nuit: perfect circle, symbol of Naught.
Solitary center, core of All: Hadit.
Ra-Hoor: brightness of twin horizons, spinning spirals to each extreme.
Completion in the mirror, dark reversal to return: Maat.

Here in balance the Work of the Kingdom
stores ancient honey in cells of the Hive.
Drink deep this vintage of lost flowers,
grow drunk on the ecstasy Babalon gives.

Whirling mysteries of the Peacock Angel
whose many eyes are one
Weave a dream within the dream,
a jewel awakened by new light.

Burning Sun that is a Star,
secret flame that is Hadit;
Silent as the unborn Word
deep in the lotus heart of Nu!

In the secret dance of Vulture & Hawk
silver & gold divide & unite;
In this know the love-play of ABRAXAS,
where the dark and the bright are “I” alone.

12/6/80

XVIII.

By the winding road I came from the east, and I tried to enter the citadel of the God.
I went in by the first gate and the guardian of the Air came against me, a great hunting Hawk, whirling the storm, singing the winds, shaking the hair of the trees upon the mountain-side.
I was blasted and whirled away, I was spun to the four corners of the world, I was dispersed into atmosphere.

By the spiral path I came from the south, and I tried to enter the citadel of the God.
I went in by the second gate and the guardian of the Fire came against me, a terrible Lion-Serpent, a jewel, a thunderbolt, raging force of phoenix-flame.
I was lightning-struck, I was burned to ash, I went out like a candle in darkness.

By the turn of the wheel I came from the west, and I tried to enter the citadel of the God.
I went in by the third gate and the guardian of the Waters came against me, a Dragon of the deep, sea-creature, serpent of desire, rising up from beneath the purple waves.
I was swept away and drowned, I was lost in the whirlpool, I decayed amid seaweed and sunken ships, fish feasted on my flesh.

By the middle way I came from the north, and I tried to enter the citadel of the God.
I went in by the fourth gate and the guardian of the Earth came against me, devourer of time, Black Mother of the Void in monstrous form, as Tiamat who gives death, as Taurt who gives life.
I was engulfed in her maw, I was buried in her womb, I was ground to dust by the teeth of her mouth.

By the path direct I came from the center, and to the center I returned. And the citadel of the God was fallen, like the tower of the phallus that has spurted the seed. Where the palace had stood was a garden and a maze, and at the center a fountain of flame in a shrine at the heart of things.
And I went into the garden, and I wandered in the maze, to complete the quest.

In the outer circle I confronted the shadow-daemon, the dwarf-self, the terrible ordeal, the maker of evil, the dark hand. I embraced this strange reflection, and we were one.

In the next circle I met with the angel-anima, the solar succubus, the harlot dancing, strange woman by night, the erotic chimera. I embraced her brightness, and we were one.

In the final circle I joined with my Self, and the joy was made flesh, and the journey was ended, and the great work perfected, and the art was a single jewel. We sprawled in passion among the flowers, and died together as two became naught.

And we were Not as we worshipped in the sacred shrine that is light and darkness, love and hate, beginning and ending. Joined together as fire and water, as rising vapor, we melt through the gate of the central Eye into the chill embrace of night.
The sun’s staff of gold and the silver moon-cup cease to be.

The mystery of all is ABRAXAS.

6/15/80

LV.

Hadit!

God of the star
fury of the storm
heart of space
eye of light
phallus of beast
name of Self

I center thee!

Throne of being
flight of becoming
seed of change
spark of fire
serpent of lust
spiral of genius

I flesh thee!

Shadow cast
upon the world
egg of the hawk
shining globe
sun of the cycles
day, year and aeon

I dissolve in thee!

Sphere of the soul
delight of ages
ancient god Set
dark brilliance
flame of ecstasy
fever of prophecy

I become thee!

Abraxas!

Let the circle be complete,
let the snake devour his tail!
Here is the moment
eternally Now
where manifestation
ends and begins.

12/28/80

LIII.

The lion-serpent dances
in swift lightning
striking the lotus
adrift on the shining sea

The mouth of the lion-serpent
roars the word-act of no-difference
beyond number or letter
the vibration of silence

The mouth is the gate
of opening and closing
devouring hunger
all-giving womb

The mouth is the void
of bornless space
The mouth is the throne
of the tongue of the heart

The mouth has teeth
of countless aeons
and tears at time
death eating life

Point where the wind
of the universe
gives breath to all
in the world

The lion-serpent
sun of night
lord of light
afire with lust unceasing

Writhing in climax
glory of bliss
known in the star
shining infinite rays

Birthing new worlds
in the primal dark
flooding night’s ocean
with seeds of life

The lightning-serpent roars in triumph
dances in the thunderstorm
falling in spears of electric fire
to illuminate all feathered eyes.

12/27/80

XXIX.

out of dark before beginning
rising beyond limitations
seeking and reaching
lustful and longing
seeking the Heart’s desire
the seeds of light
cast out in the sea
burn rainbow stars
like wheels of fire

changing ever
evolving, mutating
mystery dancing
freely in shadows
weaving of moonglow
a labyrinth of light
merging, turning
enchanting illusion
completed as truth

sorrow to joy
night into day
parts into whole
alchemical stone
all the spells spoken
change time and space
the great transformer
of the holy name

ABRAXAS

11/3/80

CONSECRATION-DEDICATION RITE: 93/MAAT

CONSECRATION-DEDICATION RITE: 93/MAAT
By Nema

http://www.horusmaat.com/silverstar/SILVERSTAR5-PG22.htm

It is suggested the celebrant bathe and rinse the body with the
traditional hyssop-water as a preceremonial ablution/preparation. The
Temple shall be appointed and arranged as follows:

The altar shall be bare. The Circle, which is the boundary of the
Universe, shall be scribed astrally. About its circumference are
arranged the following:

To the South, the Wand and candleflame.
To the West, the Chalice and vessel of water.
To the North, the Pantacle and a small mound of earth.
To the East, the Sword and the feather.

Central is a vessel of oil (pure olive oil or one’s personal scent);
small quantities, in appropriate containers, of salt, rice, and milk;
one’s “badge of office” – robe, crown, or ring; a vessel of wine.

Enter naked.

Approach the Circle from the South, in the Sign of the Enterer. Walk
the Circle deosil, and at the East, assume the gesture of
Heru-Pa-Kraat. Banish, according to the rite given previously. Face
the center of the Circle and proclaim:

“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

“By the same mouth that declares the Law, shall the Will be spoken and
the Work be vowed.

“THELEMA! AGAPE! ABRAHADABRA! IPSOS!”

Extend the arms upward, palms to the sky.

“To NUIT!

“By HADIT!

“In the Name of RA-HOOR-KHUIT!”

Proceed to the South, stand before Wand and candle flame, facing
outward. Take up the Wand in the right hand, pass it through the
flame, hold it aloft, saying:

“This Wand is the weapon of my Will. It is the phallus of my spirit,
the sceptre of my Kingdom.”

Turn to the center of the Circle, pour a few drops of oil upon the
Wand, and return to the South, facing outward. Rub the oil into the
Wand: as you do so, chant then Name SHAITAN-AIWASS – loudly at first,
then diminishing to a whisper. Breathe the whispered Name into the Wand
as you anoint it. Then:

“In the Name SHAITAN-AIWASS, I will work for the manifestation of the
Law of Thelema. I will work for the establishment of Truth, Balance and
Justice in the Kingdom. I will work for the evolution of the Universe.”

Keep silence for a space, then, with Wand in hand, proceed to the West.
Place the Wand before the Chalice. Take up the Chalice, ririse it with
the water, hold it aloft, saying:

“This Chalice is the weapon of my Love. It is the yoni of my spirit,
the Graal of my Kingdom. “

Proceed with the anointing as with the Wand, this time using the Name
BABALON-MAAT. Then:

“In the Name BABALON-MAAT, I love thee, NUIT, all that is, and is not!
I love thee, Lord PAN, god of living beauty! I love thee, Man, sleeper
in the night of pain and madness.”

Keep silence for a space, then, with Wand and Chalice, proceed to the
North. Place the weapons before the Pantacle. Take up the Pantacle,
rest it upon the earth, then hold it aloft, saying:

“This Pantacle is the weapon of my Bodies. It is the Word of my spirit,
the seal of my Kingdom.”

Proceed with the anointing as above, using the Name NUIT-HADIT. Then:

“In the Name NUIT-HADIT, I am King and Mage. I am Priest, Hermit,
Warrior, and Fool. I am the Dancer of the Mask; the Mask conceals
nothing.”

Keep silence for a space. Then, with the three weapons, proceed to the
East. Place them before the Sword. Take up the Sword, touch it to the
feather, hold it aloft. saying:

“This Sword is the weapon of my Mind. It is the sentinel of my spirit,
the warrior of my Kingdom.”

Proceed with the anointing as above, using the Name

HERU-RA-HA. Then:

“In the Name HERU-RA-HA, I know that we dream as we dance. I know the
Law that governs the play of the dream. I know that I am as much
illusion as the rest of the Dream.”

Leaving the weapons assembled in the East, return to the center. Anoint
the Chakras with the oil, saying:

(At base of spine) “I dedicate and consecrate my body of flesh to the
Great Work. I will keep it in strength and health to this end.”
(Genitals ) “I dedicate and consecrate my astral body and sexual power
to the Great Work. I will make love only under Will, and always to
NUIT.”
(Navel) “I dedicate and consecrate my etheric body and my Chi to the
Great Work. I will fight as warrior and brother, and will strike low
and hard.”
(Heart) “I dedicate and consecrate my complete identity, Inner and
Outer, to the Great Work. All that I am, yea, to the last drop of
blood, I pour into the Chalice of our Lady BABALON.”
(Throat) “I dedicate and consecrate my speech and my silence to the
Great Work. I will speak only Truth, and keep silence forever within.”
(Third Eye ) “I dedicate and consecrate my vision to the Great Work. I
will behold all things with clarity, making no difference between any
one thing and any other thing, soever.”
(Back of skull) “I dedicate and consecrate my Observer, the True
Self, to the Great Work. I will accept my non-existence, and again
become Tao.”
(Top of skull) Silence.

Put on the ring/crown/robe. Take up the vessels of salt, rice and milk.
Beginning at the South, cast a few grains/drops beyond the circle at
each compass-point, saying.

“To thee, SHAITAN-AIWASS, are the kingdoms of the Kingdom.”

(West) “To thee, BABALON-MAAT, are the kingdoms of the Kingdom.”
(North) “To thee, NUIT-HADIT, are the kingdoms of the Kingdom.”
(East) “To thee, HERU-RA-HA, are the kingdoms of the Kingdom.”

Return to the center with the vessels. Take the wine to the East. Pour
wine into the Chalice. Take up the Wand, and proceed with VIII*, making
sure the Elixir flows onto the Wand.

Transfer the Elixir to the wine: using the Wand, stir to commingle. Dip
the Sword-point into the Chalice, so the fluid runs down the blade.
Spill a few drops upon the Pantacle.

Turn to the center of the Circle, holding the Chalice in the left hand,
the Wand in the right, and declare:

“I will pursue the Great Work to its completion. I will continue from
life to life, from world to world; yea, until the end of Time, until
the evolution of the Universe be domplete. This is my Work, my Word, my
Will, my Love.”
“ABRAHADABRA”
“IPSOS.”
Drink from the Chalice, to the final drop. Place the weapons upon the
Altar.
“So mote it be.
“Love is the law, love under will.
The closing banishment is done by making the Mark of the Beast at each
station deosil, as follows:

South: (0) In the Name SHAITAN
S. W.: (0) In the Name AIWASS
We st: (0) In the Name BABALON
N. W.: (0) In the Name MAAT
North: (0) In the Name NUIT
N. E.: (0) In the Name HADIT
East: (0) In the Name RA-HOOR-KHUIT
S. E.: (0) In the Name HERU-PA-KRAAT.

New Orleans State of Mind: Hurricane Katrina by Louis Martinie

I receive LOTS of things to read. Usually by email. Some by parcel post. It takes me a while, but I read EVERYTHING. How can’t I? Sometimes the smallest clues to my Path are delivered in the everyday things of life. If I don’t pay attention, how can I ascend?

This essay hits home to me on many different levels. It speaks of my home, New Orleans (althoug I’ve been displaced for eight years and it has NOTHING to due with hurricanes) and of majick and the related ethical decisions made of each practitioner. It speaks of the Warrior Priest, which is a heading I fall under, and the often difficult choices we make and then have to live with…

It is touching and beautiful and I give you now:

New Orleans State of Mind: Hurricane Katrina
Louis Martinie’

http://www.horusmaat.com/silverstar/SILVERSTAR4-PG2.htm

The magus cries on the inside and laughs on the outside.
A. Crowley (paraphrase)

Inside:
I look up from my desk at work and see Mrs. Smith holding Nikisha. She sings to her softly; tells her how pretty she is. Nikisha smiles and makes soft contented sounds. That was not so very long ago.

Mrs. Smith is poor and black and can’t drive and is probably dead now. She was so proud of going to High School for one or two years. Her parents let the Mississippi cotton wait so she would not have to be in the fields with them all of the time. She liked to spell words. I would sit and write reports and ask her how to spell. “Mrs. Smith, does “know” begin with a ‘k’ or an ‘n’ ?” Mrs. Smith would tell me and then go back to Nakisha, ” Baby, we gonna get a tin can and sit up on Chef Menteur and get some little money and then get us a bag of Doritos and watch TV. Would you like that, Baby?”

Nikisha is profoundly physically/mentally handicapped and black and in an understaffed group home that didn’t have enough transportation at the best of times; she is probably dead now. She liked to hold a handkerchief in her right hand. She would wave it back and forth to cool her badly disfigured face; maybe a fire. She was a strong little girl. It took both Mrs. Smith and I to give her meds. She was blind but she knew what we were up to; we had to sneak up on her.

Outside:
I am a voodoosant and a sorcerer; how does this help or hinder my abilities to be in such devastation? Here are some entries thoughts, and examples from my magickal record (MR). They are followed by a comment (italics) that looks at how my experience may have some relevance to the hidden community.

MR – I ask myself why I bother to to “laugh” or at least stay calm on the outside. There is a dangerous no man’s land between the laughter and the tears. It is filled with anger that can strike as quickly and as unexpectedly as a snake. The anger appears if I hold to Mr. Crowley’s words too strictly. After a few days I have come to regard the anger as an early warning signal. A sign to make time when I can to cry on the outside and do things that bring an internal laughter. This time must not be self indulgent; it must not interfere with the doing of the will. The multiverse seems to agree, I cried at the Red Cross when thinking about those who may be suffering and a radio DJ said, ” That was ‘Stop Your Sobbing’ by the Pretenders.” Its simple, my crying then and there took time away from others who could be helped. I cried later.
The external calm / good humor is effective in getting done, doing what it is my will to do. Helping people make contacts, finding out how I can use the resources I have to help all those in need. This includes the needs of Mishlen and I. I do not know if a Priest, in particular a Warrior Priest, can do any less.

There is an elegance to this simple formulation; the most effect is gotten for the least effort. Love gives rise to the internal tears that act like a great water engine generating power for the exercise of Will. Will provides a fertile ground for the joy of effective action. Once this dance of Love and Will has begun it is hard to tell who is leading. Almost all of the time there is success in this; the laughter/calm is real and the tears/sorrow is real.

MR – Mishlen, my companion, can see futures. She told me Hurricane Katrina would be very bad for us even before it hit the Florida coast. I didn’t believe her but out of respect I readied the house and some belongings to evacuate. She was right and I was out before the traffic jams.

People who have this kind of sight are correct a percentage of the time. Priestess Miriam of the New Orleans Voodoo Spiritual Temple has been talking about a big one hitting for the last few months. It would have been good if I sent some sort of electronic message to voodoosants in the New Orleans area and ascertained if others shared Mishlen’s vision and Priestess Miriam’s foreboding. Perhaps comparing this information could have helped us all.
MR – We have a house on 18 foot pylons on the shore of Lake Pontchartrain across from New Orleans. I’m told that 2 out of about 150 residences on our street are still standing; ours and one other. Mishlen wonders about using up our good karma.

Our house is well built, that’s an important beginning. Mishlen was doing mantras to Red Tara for protection from the storm. I joined her in these mantras. I asked the loa and set my familiar spirits to protect the house before leaving. I worked and prayed and chanted that Katrina would make land fall in a way as to do the least damage to sentient beings.
Big failure and small success. Katrina certainly did not make landfall in such a way as to cause the least suffering possible.

We were hit. Should I have worked to deflect Katrina? I don’t know. These kinds of workings have always struck me as deeply suspect. The comparison is to a battlefield (Warrior Priest). Bullets are flying and to protect myself I pull a brother or sister in front of me. They take the bullet and I walk.

Perhaps there would have been less suffering if Katrina would have hit, say, Pensacola. That said, I would be interested in hearing what mothers in Pensacola have to say about this line of thought. Dostoyevsky asked if the happiness of the world was worth the suffering of one child (The Idiot? ; no library). Is that a fair price? I don’t know.

The eye wall of Katrina appeared from maps to have passed directly over our house. I do mean exactly, “directly”. The house survived and a neighbor called and told me we were (relatively) “fine”. I’m told the hurricane pulled off the boards I had over windows but did not break the windows themselves. Houses on both sides were flattened. To our left even the debris was swept clean.

With good fortune comes responsibility. The buddhas, loa, and spirits worked for us and now it is time to show gratitude. We plan to use the house as a gateway to New Orleans for friends and returning members of the spiritual community. It looks like Northshore will be up and running months before the central city area. If good fortune is separated from the responsibility it brings, then at best depleted magickal power and at worst guilt is the product.
I do not think our house surviving caused more damage to the houses around us. There is no evidence that our good fortune was bought at the cost of others misfortune. The winds of the eye wall (175 mph) and the tidal surge were sufficient to flatten everything.
Here is a big one. Were our magicks stronger than the magicks of those whose houses were destroyed by Katrina? Maybe, but I’m not convinced of this. The Invisibles were a tremendous help but voodoosants all walk different paths. On our path there is great benefit in having the house safe. On another path the Invisibles may have responded to the voodoosants workings by allowing their house to be destroyed so that a greater, future good could manifest. The Invisibles could have responded to the purpose of the working using different means.

The issue here seems to be how success, the strength of one’s magicks, is measured. When I look at myself, I know that my magickal powers are stronger now than they were 10 years ago and much stronger than they were 20 years ago. I can see a growing rate of what I call “success” as I walk my path. I am not sure about comparing my individual successes or failures to those of other workers. Perhaps the best place to measure success or failure is within the practice of the voodoosant over time.

There is karma and the conditions that bring karma to fruitation. Perhaps all one can truthfully say is that we are fortunate and that fortune is immensely complex. Those less fortunate may have stronger magicks but their karma in this particular situation may have been less helpful or an actual impediment. Also, it’s important here to differentiate between the storm damage and the devastation brought on by Washington’s lack of concern.
MR – Habits! More than anything, good habits have gotten me through this time. This is extremely important. Emergency workers know this well. When the mind is numbed by the extent of what one is dealing with, training kicks in.

We are magaickians and our training is magickal. Practice well. I have often said to myself that my life would be more interesting if I had more discipline.

The Master of my Head is the New Orleans loa Blac dan-i. The name means “white snake” and its primary attribute is coolness, a calm abiding. This loa walks the same path as Obatala.
The advise s/he gave me was to practice “small kindness.” In facing the devastation squarely I think this is good advice for all of us. Msl. Katrina and her effect is much too big to hold in our arms or mind. Small kindnesses anchor us in the moment; help to stabilize the mind and allow us to begin to breath meaning into the ruble around us.